She is my sin
by DeEP-Kris
Summary: I have built a theory of human transmutation before.
1. 1

She is my sin

_Ok, some sad fic because I'm not in the mood to end "Adoption" so I'm going to kill someone, heh. Story is... ok, my sis doesn't want to read it! RoyxRiza – not exactly, maybe in the third chapter, but I'm planning to write only two. Ok, still practising to First Certificate and still having lots of problem in writing. So, help me, please. Oh, forgive me this melodramatic plot but..._

_Disclaim: I don't own FMA (imagine it: I owning FMA!) and title (at first it is Nightwish's title). If someone titled his/her fic the same, forgive me!_

Spring was beautiful in the Central City. Flowers were blooming earlier than usually. Young birds were also borne earlier, that's why all City's Park were full of their songs. Not many people could admire it. In the middle of the park, on a bench hidden in the shadow of old oak two people were sitting and enjoying themselves.

"Roy?"

"Yes?"

"I love you"

"I love you too Kate"

Even if she knew it, she blushed. She turned her face from him. He looked at her. She was the most beautiful woman he ever met. Her red eyes, long blonde hair, thinking about her made him crazy. He wanted to give her all his life. Yes, it was love. The most beautiful love Roy had ever experienced. And she was with him.

"Will you marry me?"

"What do you think?"

She turned her red eyes on him. He smiled.

"Yes" he brought closer to her.

They kissed. She placed her soft hand in his. He buried his nose in her fragrant hair.

"You are beautiful Kate"

"You too Roy!" she laughed.

Another kiss. He reached for his pocket. Gold ring shined in the morning light. She was happy. She thanked him a lot and put ring on her shapely finger. He kneeled down and kissed it gently.

"Roy..."

He stood up and gave her a happy smile. She smiled back and pulled his arm.

"It won't bother you if you have National Certificate Alchemist as your husband?" he asked.

"Not at all. I'll be happy if you finally take this exam."

"It is possible that I will go on a war"

"No." She placed her soft cheek to his palm. "They won't sacrifice valuable alchemists."

"Who say I am valuable?"

"I" they laughed. But it was time to leave so Roy said goodbye to his beautiful fiancée and went back to his apartment. He had a lot to study. Being National Certificated Alchemist had been his dream since he learned about it primary school. Being something important, someone well-known, yes, it was what Roy wanted to achieve. His girlfriend Kate wanted for him the same despite she didn't like the military. She was half Ishvarian – daughter of exile who decided to learn alchemy and was, because of that, abandoned. That's why her eyes were red.

In the evening he met with his old friend Hughes. He told his the great news about marriage with Kate.

"Roy, you devil!" he received light punch from Maes "You are going to marry first! And what about me?! Wait for me my friend! We will get married together!"

"You even don't have fiancée"

"Oh, I'll find one! I will ask Gracia, she is a good girl."

"Maes!" Roy shook his head. "You are... my bestman. See, you can't get married in the same time because I need you."

"Ok, ok. Everything for you Roy. And for Katrina Mustang."

In the day of exam Kate wore her best dress. She came to Roy in the morning, made him a breakfast and did the last test before exam. He was watching her and thought he had been the happiest man in all world. She was just perfect. Perfect was her breakfast, perfect suit she chose him and gave him perfect kiss for good luck.

"I'll wait for you in the evening" she said smiling "And we will have a dinner and..."

"...and?" he smiled and returned her kiss.

The exam took place in the Central Headquarter in a big room looking like lecture chamber. When young alchemists were passing the corridor with military offices Roy looked around. He felt it was so unreal – he and the military. He, husband of Kate, careless father of young child, and solider? No, it couldn't be. But when he was opening his exam's paper, he thought about her. She will be happy if he passed. She believed in him. He couldn't betray her.

Exam wasn't so difficult. In fact, it was quite easy. Military were in need for some alchemist because of rebellion or something like that. So even this weird Armstrong was able to pass. Really, only fool didn't write it. Of course it was Roy's point of view. He did everything correct and was very proud of himself. Other tests, taking in the same day were skill test and the interview. When he had one behind him, he knew he would become State Alchemist. He wanted to phone Kate but she wasn't at home.

Skill test – pretty easy! Hey where was this famous level of Certificate? He couldn't wait till evening and date with Kate. She would be very proud of him. The last was an interview. Roy didn't loose his self–confidence. He went firmly into interview room. He sat on the chair standing in the middle of transmutation array. All the lights were placed on him.

"Why do you want to become a State Alchemist?" a questioned was heard

"Because I want to help my country in the best way." he answered.

"You are quite young mister Roy Mustang"

"Yes, I am." He admitted.

"Do you have your own family?"

"Yes" he was proud "I have a fiancée. We will marry soon."

"Miss Katrina Feather?"

"Yes!" Roy was surprised "How do you know it?"

"Mister Mustang" it was certainly Fuhrer's voice! "At first I have to congratulate you. Welcome to military, Major Mustang."

"Oh" Roy was satisfied, but he predicted it "Thank you Fuhrer."

"It is a big distinction but responsibility too. You must show you are strong and show no mercy to your opponents. But you have to be strict to yourself too. All your movements will be seen from this day. If you are good to the country, you will be rewarded."

"Thank you Fuhrer"

"Your fiancée, Katrina Feather, daughter of Ishvarian exile was murdered today."

"WHAT?!" Roy couldn't believe what he had just heard.

World collapsed. All what he had been doing and what he had done – was for her.

"It can't be true!" he shook his head.

"She was murdered by Ishvarian citizen today, between midday and 14 p.m. It was a punishment of not praying to Ishvarian god and having relationships with none-ishvarians."

"But... but she wasn't an Ishvarian! She even had never been to Ishvar! And the colour of her skin! NO! IT ISN'T TRUE!"

"Please calm down Major. We all understand your pain but know you have to be strong and brave. You are the State Alchemist now. I'll send you to Ishvar. Please report on Friday evening. And please take my condolence."

Roy went out of the interview room. Why? WHY? Why she? Why now? They almost get married! Why did someone murder her?


	2. 2

**She is my sin 2**

War is something awful. People are behaving like the worst animals. Ugly wild creatures desired to kill. And it is the same - soldier, woman, old man, enemy is an enemy. It's hard to believe that somebody can behave like that. Poor creatures, poor living thinks. There is no mercy for losers.

Roy stood opposite to small, trembling with fear boy. He was ready to snap, the boy had any chance to escape. Major was looking into young horrify eyes. He was like that some time ago. Small, cheerful boy, without any worries. The child yelled and tried to shot but alchemist was faster. Nothing was left. Roy kneeled down. What did he do?! He killed young boy! A child! Why? For what purpose?

"I want to die!" he whispered.

He should be dead, some time ago. They told him that "this" did Ishbarians. But this young boy couldn't do that! He was too young! Too young to die! Somebody was also too young...

"Look, here is the one!"

He didn't care that three ruffs decided to kill him. He was the sinner. He deserved to die. He killed young life! The guns were pointed on him. In the moment there would be nothing left.

"Shot him!"

Three shots were heard. Roy didn't feel any pain. He didn't know witch part of his body had been hurt. But, if there was no pain? Maybe one shot killed him and now he is a ghost or something like that? His mind was still working.

"Major! Major!"

He opened his eyes. Opposite to him there were the ashes of burned boy. He was still on his knees.

"Major!"

One solider was shaking him. He looked at him.

"Are you ok, Major?"

"Yes" Roy answered. He was surprised, but alive!

"Good. Fuhrer gave an order to come back to the camp. It's too risky to stay here in the night."

Roy said nothing. He stood up and went back with soldiers to the camp. He met another praises from important persons. They said he was brave, the real hero of Ishbar's war.

"By the way" said General Hakuro giving him another order "I want to introduce to you brave sniper who saved your precious life today."

Roy turned to tent's entrance and suddenly stopped being totally amazed. He held his brief. Someone had entered. A young woman not much shorter than him. She was wearing martial heavy boots, blue trousers and uniform of Amestris's army. It wasn't surprise that a woman was a sniper but her looks – it was something that frightened Roy.

She was a light blonde woman with short but thick hair. Her eyes were as red as wine, or blood. In fact, her figure was quite small but she is a muscular woman. Roy moved once step back.

"Sergeant Hawkeye!" Hakuro said "Major Mustang Flame Alchemist would like to thank you for saving his life!"

"It is an honour to save your life sir"

The same voice! Quiet, calm but self-confidence. She was looking at him in such serious way! This eyes!

"I-I can't!" Roy shouted and left the tent.

The night was peaceful. It was hard to imagine that something like war was now taking place. Alchemist sat alone near his tent and started to think. What a pity that Hughes wasn't with him now. He wanted to talk with him, after this sudden meeting with the ghost of Kate. But Hughes preferred to stay in the Central City. If he had been here, he would have said that Roy was just tired and that's why he recognised female officer as Kate. The next day he would find out that this sniper is not so pretty, her hair were coloured and she definitely wasn't like Kate. But, this eyes! Deep red eyes.

Another day of the war. Another corpses, blood and senseless fight. Roy was absent-minded. He felt like he hadn't slept for ages and had a headache.

"Terrible day" he thought.

His team were doing some investigation in the centre of Ishbar. Enemy was covering in civilians' houses. Roy had an order to blow it up. There were few soldiers who had to protect him during doing his job. They got into the position.

"Stay here" he ordered them.

If they had got closer, they would have got hurt with fragments of blowing up houses. Alchemist went on the road and faced with old centre of Ishbar city. He felt nothing. This night Kate appeared in his dream. She was smiling to him and sent him a kiss. Was it really she? No, she had got short hair and sniper rifle on her back. It wasn't her. It was a nightmare.

Roy snapped. Deafening noise came from the town. In one second all the buildings were thrown into an air. Strong wind blown on Roy's face. He closed his eyes.

"You bastard!" a voice of old woman was heard.

But then sharp shot end Ishbarian's groan. Roy opened his eyes and looked at the killer. She was there again! Blonde red-eye sergeant, she was the one of soldiers who were protecting him. Now she was aiming her gun on the dead. Suddenly Roy got angry.

"Why did you do it?" he shouted.

"Sorry sir" she answered "She was trying to kill you sir."

He looked at dead lady. Yes, she had a gun with her.

"So, you save my life again?" he asked ironically.

"I hope sir."

"So, thank you." he passed her didn't even look at her.

After came back to the camp he refused to eat and sat in his tent. Why did Hughes stay in Central? He needed him! A real friend in this desert of friendship and loyalty. He didn't say he need somebody else, but in fact he did. Now it was hard to believe that Ishbarians killed her. They were just a peaceful civilization didn't even know what alchemy is! Something has been appearing in Roy's mind. Maybe she wasn't killed by the Ishbarians? Maybe someone decided to murder her in purpose to force him go on the war? No, it couldn't be true! He wasn't so valuable for anyone.

Somebody entered the tent. Roy lifted his head and frozen. It was her, this sniper from before. She was holding a tray with his dinner.

"I'm not hungry" he said quickly.

"I'll leave it to you sir here" she left the tray on a small table.

He liked her to leave but she went to him and gave him a blanket.

"You are trembling sir" she said.

"Thank you but I don't need it. Nor your companion!"

But she, like bad ghost, didn't leave. She looked at his eyes. He couldn't avoid her.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"Sergeant Riza Hawkeye."

"Really?"

"Why don't you believe me sir?"

"Because… ok, I believe you. Why are you here?"

"I'm here to protect you sir"

"Oh" Roy looked up and yawned "Hakuro's order?"

"No sir. You need a help."

He looked back at her.

"Who are you?" he asked again but when she opened her mouth, he interrupted "Ok, I know you are Sergeant Hawkeye, but who let you protect me? Is this Captain Hughes?"

"No sir. I'm protecting you because you need it. I see you need a help sir."

"I DON'T NEED ANYONE'S HELP! ESPECIALLY YOURS!" he shouted "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

But she didn't leave. She was looking at him with great sorrow.

"You are hurt sir?" she reached for his right arm.

Now he realized his arm was bleeding. But he didn't like her to touch him.

"I'm ok Sergeant. Please come back to your work."

"I'm at work sir."

"I've already told you…"

"And I've told you too sir."

He sighted. He couldn't win with her. Just exactly like Kate.

"Do you want me to pay for your protection?" he asked.

"No sir. I just like to be in your party."

"I don't have any."

"You will have"

She surprised him.

"You even don't know me."

"I believe in you sir"

He looked at a meal she brought. Simple meat and half-cooked potatoes. Suddenly something came to his mind.

"Did you know Katrina Feather?" he asked carefully. His voice didn't tremble, he worked on it.

"No sir." Was the answer.

"Really?"

"Really sir"

It was the strange relationship Roy had ever had. Maybe at first he was angry on her because of this "saving life" which happened all the time. But then he found out she was excellent aide and listener. She listened him carefully without any interrupt. She was serious all the time and always very helpful. After a wile he also discovered her palms were bigger than Kate's used to be.

"She can't wear her ring" he thought one day.

Also a smile hardly ever went to her face. Kate had been laughing all day, she never did it. Sometimes, when she was with him, he felt like she is happy. That made him thought if she hadn't killed Kate to win his heart and love. She was in military, maybe Fuhrer was her uncle… no, very stupid idea! Sergeant Hawkeye would have never done it. But, just in case, he told her one day:

"I would never fall in love"

"I don't ask you to love anybody" she answered and came back to cleaning her gun.

"I was once in love… some time ago. She was beautiful…"

She didn't interrupt, just started to listen like always.

"Her name was Kate."

"Very beautiful"

"Yes it was. She was like flower… I offered her to marry me."

The silence wasn't break up. Sergeant was waiting for her Major to speak.

"I still have her photo… somewhere." He looked at her "I want you to take her photo."

"It will be an honour sir."

"But please promise me you will never look at it. Just keep it somewhere and never show to anybody. It's my past about I want to forget. Would you do this to me, Sergeant?"

"Yes sir"

He reached for his pocket. He gave his ex-fiancée the last look. She was very similar to Riza – they were like twin sisters. Then he folded it and gave to Sergeant.

"Never look at it." He whispered.

"I won't"

Another silence.

"Sir" Riza squeezed her fists "What had happen? With Kate?"

"She was killed."

"By who?"

"I don't know."

"I will find out!"

"You don't have to."

"I WILL FIND OUT!"

After the couple of years Edward Elric told Roy what homunculus were.

"I have built a theory of human transmutation before. Did I fail, I don't know. But it's hard to watch your beloved face every day and know she is not this person, she doesn't love you. She is someone different and I have to learn it. But, in fact, she is my sin"

_Ok, end of this. I'm bad in writing drama, even in my own language! But I have to try!_


End file.
